Mathematicians are a bit like the laconic Vermonter who, when asked if he's lived in the state his whole life, replies, Not yet.

The only bit of logic-based public bathroom humor I know is: the difference between men and women is that between the statement [P and not Q] and the statement [Q and not P].

There is something inhuman and vaguely pornographic about statistics... Pornography, on the other hand, with its loosely bound sequences of storyless sexual couplings often has the feel of a statistical survey.

The once-surprising existence of non-Euclidean models of Euclid's first four axioms can be seen as a sort of mathematical joke.

When asked why he doesn't believe in astrology, the logician Raymond Smullyan responds that he's a Gemini and Geminis never believe in astrology.

Defined broadly enough, mathematics encompasses everything.

In the stock market... You can be right for the wrong reasons or wrong for the right reasons.

The Internet is the world's largest library. It's just that all the books are on the floor.

How many pizzas are consumed each year in the United States? How many words have you spoken in your life? How many different peoples names appear in the New York Times each year? How many watermelons would fit inside the U.S. Capital building? What is the volume of all the human blood in the world?

The fashion pages have always baffled me. In my opinion, the articles appear to be full of gobbledygook as to make the astrology column seem factual by comparison.

Uncertainty would be the only certainty there's, and realizing how to stay with insecurity could be the only protection

Certainty a strange Ferris wheel of a statement!

I used to be surprised and even depressed when I met someone I had admired and discovered him or her to be a jerk or, perhaps worse, rather common. Now I half expect this reaction and even find it a little reassuring, maybe even uplifting. Isn't it amazing that somebody like that could produce such and such.

The simple equations that generate the convoluted Mandelbrot fractal have been called the wittiest remarks ever made.

One must give up the fantasy of a perspicacious gunslinger/investor outwitting the market.

I think, therefore I laugh.