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In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

Joel McHale

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Joel McHale
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Game Show Host
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
The Eternal City
Joel Edward McHale
Inmates
Beauty
Lick
Face
Spears
Faces
Use
Grapes
Around
Juice
Might
Makeup
Regimen
Sometimes
Prison
Grape
Wouldn

More quotes by Joel McHale

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I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies.
Joel McHale
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Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
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Our mantra is that 90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better. We make fun of that 90 percent.
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My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.
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It's important to have the right agent - people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is.
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Well, that would be a title [the busiest guy in Hollywood] still reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I have one assistant he has about nine. I don't have a food taster yet, I don't have a fluffer either. But, yes there are some days when I don't know if I am coming or going.
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Five-hundred years ago people were saying in manuscripts, Can you believe these kids today? They were saying that same phrase everyone says now. No one can believe the youth and what they're doing and how culture is going and how it might fall apart.
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I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.
Joel McHale
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I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.
Joel McHale
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Yes, believe me I am black and blue. Plus I just finished a Seth MacFarlane movie called Ted and I can't believe the cast I got to work with there [Mila Kunis, Mark Wahlberg]. I feel like I am winning some kind of contest to trick people into working with me.
Joel McHale
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I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.
Joel McHale
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You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.
Joel McHale
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I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree
Joel McHale
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It was great having them around and I have to say pretty weird seeing them all grown up! Plus we have Jeremy Piven and Ricky Gervais agreed to be in it and Antonio Banderas has a cameo in and that's a testament to Robert. He's such a good director and such a good guy. He gets everybody, because everyone wants to work with him.
Joel McHale
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People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.
Joel McHale
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Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret.
Joel McHale
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It's pretty difficult to promote something the week after Christmas and the week before New Year's.
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Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity are the Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry.
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When I initially met with Robert I was just so excited to meet the guy. I was able to go to Troublemaker Studios in Austin, Texas and just hanging out was fantastic. Working on this took up all of my weekends while I was shooting Community. It was crazy, but again, no regrets.
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Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.
Joel McHale