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In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

Joel McHale

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Joel McHale
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Game Show Host
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
The Eternal City
Joel Edward McHale
Around
Juice
Might
Makeup
Sometimes
Prison
Regimen
Wouldn
Grape
Beauty
Inmates
Face
Lick
Faces
Spears
Use
Grapes

More quotes by Joel McHale

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I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.
Joel McHale
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Yes, believe me I am black and blue. Plus I just finished a Seth MacFarlane movie called Ted and I can't believe the cast I got to work with there [Mila Kunis, Mark Wahlberg]. I feel like I am winning some kind of contest to trick people into working with me.
Joel McHale
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My intention with The Soup was to hopefully follow in the footsteps of past hosts, like Greg Kinnear. The pedigree of that show was really good and if it could just get me into some of those audition rooms I've always wanted to get into that I could not get into, then I would be very happy.
Joel McHale
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You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.
Joel McHale
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When I initially met with Robert I was just so excited to meet the guy. I was able to go to Troublemaker Studios in Austin, Texas and just hanging out was fantastic. Working on this took up all of my weekends while I was shooting Community. It was crazy, but again, no regrets.
Joel McHale
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I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.
Joel McHale
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I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree
Joel McHale
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It was great having them around and I have to say pretty weird seeing them all grown up! Plus we have Jeremy Piven and Ricky Gervais agreed to be in it and Antonio Banderas has a cameo in and that's a testament to Robert. He's such a good director and such a good guy. He gets everybody, because everyone wants to work with him.
Joel McHale
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I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies.
Joel McHale
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Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity are the Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry.
Joel McHale
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Five-hundred years ago people were saying in manuscripts, Can you believe these kids today? They were saying that same phrase everyone says now. No one can believe the youth and what they're doing and how culture is going and how it might fall apart.
Joel McHale
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Well, that would be a title [the busiest guy in Hollywood] still reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I have one assistant he has about nine. I don't have a food taster yet, I don't have a fluffer either. But, yes there are some days when I don't know if I am coming or going.
Joel McHale
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It's pretty difficult to promote something the week after Christmas and the week before New Year's.
Joel McHale
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My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.
Joel McHale
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People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.
Joel McHale
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Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
Joel McHale
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Our mantra is that 90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better. We make fun of that 90 percent.
Joel McHale
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It's important to have the right agent - people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is.
Joel McHale
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Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.
Joel McHale
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I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.
Joel McHale