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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Didn
Today
Years
Burns
Think
Hasn
Thinking
George
Ten
Mets
Since

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I was my own buddy in camp.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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Can we talk?
Joan Rivers