Quote

Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Today
Years
Burns
Think
Hasn
Thinking
George
Ten
Mets
Since
Didn

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Joan Rivers
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Joan Rivers