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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Make
York
Anybody
Knowing
Age
Friends
House
Packed
Certain
Sold
Hard
Moved

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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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