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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Anybody
Knowing
Age
Friends
House
Packed
Certain
Sold
Hard
Moved
Make
York

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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Better laid than never.
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
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I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers