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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Hard
Moved
Make
York
Anybody
Knowing
Age
Friends
House
Packed
Certain
Sold

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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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