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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Anybody
Knowing
Age
Friends
House
Packed
Certain
Sold
Hard
Moved
Make
York

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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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Better laid than never.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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