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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Hard
Moved
Make
York
Anybody
Knowing
Age
Friends
House
Packed
Certain
Sold

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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
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Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers