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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Dyke
Dykes
Damn
Proud

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
Joan Rivers
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
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I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers