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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Great
Motto
Thinking
Younger
People
Wants
Dies
State
Place
Change
Attract
States
Florida
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
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I love the way my life has fallen into place.
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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I’m never without a bandage.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers