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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Wants
People
Dies
State
Place
Change
Attract
Florida
States
Motto
Great
Younger
Thinking
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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Never floss a stranger.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers