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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Place
Change
Attract
States
Florida
Great
Motto
Thinking
Younger
People
Wants
Dies
State

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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
Joan Rivers