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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Surgery
Plastic
Hasn
Motel
Told
Motels
Come
Collins
Joan
Reporter
Reporters

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
Joan Rivers
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers