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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Told
Motels
Come
Collins
Joan
Reporter
Reporters
Surgery
Plastic
Hasn
Motel

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
Joan Rivers
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
Joan Rivers
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
Joan Rivers
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
Joan Rivers
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
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Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
Joan Rivers
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Joan Rivers
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
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Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers