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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Hasn
Motel
Told
Motels
Come
Collins
Joan
Reporter
Reporters
Surgery
Plastic

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
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Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
Joan Rivers
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
Joan Rivers
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
Joan Rivers
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
Joan Rivers
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
Joan Rivers
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers