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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Think
Pieces
Thinking
Anything
Body
Chalk
Take
Outline
Made
Outlines
Good
Bed
Never
Piece
Love
Husband
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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