Quote

I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Made
Outlines
Good
Bed
Never
Piece
Love
Husband
Think
Pieces
Thinking
Anything
Body
Chalk
Take
Outline

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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