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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Aging
Older
Mind

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
Joan Rivers
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
Joan Rivers
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
Joan Rivers
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
Joan Rivers
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Joan Rivers
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Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
Joan Rivers
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
Joan Rivers
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers