Quote

I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Mind
Aging
Older

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
Image
Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
Image
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
Joan Rivers
Image
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
Joan Rivers
Image
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers
Image
Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
Joan Rivers
Image
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
Image
A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
Image
What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
Image
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers
Image
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Joan Rivers
Image
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
Image
I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
Image
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
Image
I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
Joan Rivers
Image
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
Image
My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
Joan Rivers
Image
Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers