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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Older
Mind
Aging

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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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