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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Aging
Older
Mind

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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Never floss a stranger.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers