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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Mafia
Vegas
Gave
Advice
Guy
Race
Running
Blinders
More quotes by Joan Rivers
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Joan Rivers
The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
Joan Rivers
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
Joan Rivers
In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
I was my own buddy in camp.
Joan Rivers
Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
Happiness, at my age, is breathing
Joan Rivers
I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Joan Rivers
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
Joan Rivers
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
