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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Vegas
Gave
Advice
Guy
Race
Running
Blinders
Mafia

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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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