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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Gave
Advice
Guy
Race
Running
Blinders
Mafia
Vegas
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
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Never floss a stranger.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
Joan Rivers
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers
Having a baby can be a scream.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers