Quote

I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Write
Wore
Used
Chest
Writing
Chests
Something
Flat
Would
Pet
Flats
Guys
Guy
Sweaters

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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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