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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Sign
Married
Lasts
Last
Girl
Mother
Freeway
Freeways
More quotes by Joan Rivers
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Joan Rivers
If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
Joan Rivers
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
Joan Rivers
Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
I’m never without a bandage.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers
All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
Joan Rivers
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
Joan Rivers
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
Joan Rivers
Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
Joan Rivers
