Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Sign
Married
Lasts
Last
Girl
Mother
Freeway
Freeways
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Joan Rivers
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
Joan Rivers
All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
Joan Rivers
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
Joan Rivers
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers
As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
Joan Rivers
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers
