Quote

If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Times
Making
Look
Looks
Line
Like
Saying
Lines
Came
Acting

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
Image
There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
Joan Rivers
Image
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
Image
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers
Image
I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
Joan Rivers
Image
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
Image
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
Image
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
Image
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
Image
I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
Joan Rivers
Image
I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers
Image
The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
Image
old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
Image
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
Image
A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Joan Rivers
Image
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
Joan Rivers
Image
I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
Joan Rivers
Image
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
Image
I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
Joan Rivers