Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Praise
Away
Someone
Anything
Take
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
Joan Rivers
They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
Joan Rivers
All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
Joan Rivers
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers
If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
Joan Rivers
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Joan Rivers
Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
Joan Rivers
Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
