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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Anything
Take
Praise
Away
Someone

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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I was my own buddy in camp.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers