Quote

I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Praise
Away
Someone
Anything
Take

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
Image
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was my own buddy in camp.
Joan Rivers
Image
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
Joan Rivers
Image
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
Image
I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers
Image
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
Image
Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
Image
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
Image
I love the way my life has fallen into place.
Joan Rivers
Image
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
Joan Rivers
Image
My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
Image
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
Joan Rivers
Image
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
Image
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers