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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Jewelry
Surgery
Else
Change
Without
Something
Love

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
Joan Rivers
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joan Rivers
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers
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Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
Joan Rivers