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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Jewelry
Surgery
Else
Change
Without
Something
Love

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
Joan Rivers
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All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
Joan Rivers
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
Joan Rivers
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
Joan Rivers
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
Joan Rivers
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
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Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
Joan Rivers
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers