Quote

What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Surgery
Else
Change
Without
Something
Love
Jewelry

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
Joan Rivers
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
Joan Rivers
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
Joan Rivers
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
Joan Rivers
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Can we talk?
Joan Rivers
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
Joan Rivers
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
Joan Rivers
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
Joan Rivers
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joan Rivers
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
Joan Rivers
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
Joan Rivers
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers