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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Graduates
College
Education
Use
Remember

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
Joan Rivers
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
Joan Rivers
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Joan Rivers
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
Joan Rivers
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Joan Rivers
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
Joan Rivers
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
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Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
Joan Rivers