Quote

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Sex
Gynecologist
Life
Gynecologists
Examines
Screwed
Telephone
Telephones
Appeal
Appeals

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
Joan Rivers
Image
That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
Image
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers
Image
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
Image
Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
Image
Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
Joan Rivers
Image
My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
Joan Rivers
Image
I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
Image
When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
Joan Rivers
Image
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
Image
Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers
Image
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
Joan Rivers
Image
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
Image
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
Joan Rivers
Image
My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
Image
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
Image
Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
Image
Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers