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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Asked
Doors
Position
Lasts
Last
Sexual
Next
Favorite
Night
Door
Husband

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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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Can we talk?
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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