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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Doors
Position
Lasts
Last
Sexual
Next
Favorite
Night
Door
Husband
Asked

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I was my own buddy in camp.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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Better laid than never.
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
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All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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