Quote

I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Kind
Always
Things
Charity
Like
Kinds
People
English
Speak
House
Around

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
Image
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
Image
The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
Image
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Joan Rivers
Image
Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
Joan Rivers
Image
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Joan Rivers
Image
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Joan Rivers
Image
I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
Image
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
Image
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
Image
My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
Image
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
Image
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers