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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Life
Pathetic
Spot
Spots
Stands
Sex
Gone

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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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Never floss a stranger.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
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The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers