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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Pathetic
Spot
Spots
Stands
Sex
Gone
Life

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
Joan Rivers
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers