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I love the way my life has fallen into place.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Fallen
Place
Way
Love
Life

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
Joan Rivers
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Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan Rivers
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I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
Joan Rivers
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
Joan Rivers
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Joan Rivers
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
Joan Rivers
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
Joan Rivers
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers