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I love the way my life has fallen into place.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Fallen
Place
Way
Love
Life

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers