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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Laughing
Better
Everything
Hard
Going
Tube
Life
Tubes
Otherwise
Laugh

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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I was my own buddy in camp.
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To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers