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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Life
Tubes
Otherwise
Laugh
Laughing
Better
Everything
Hard
Going
Tube
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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Better laid than never.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
