Quote

Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Wells
Well
Ladies
Girls
Fun
Girl

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
Joan Rivers
Image
Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
Image
My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
Joan Rivers
Image
The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
Joan Rivers
Image
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
Image
keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
Joan Rivers
Image
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
Joan Rivers
Image
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
Image
I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
Joan Rivers
Image
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
Image
You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
Joan Rivers
Image
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Joan Rivers
Image
Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
Image
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
Image
I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
Image
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
Image
I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
Joan Rivers
Image
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers