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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Ladies
Girls
Fun
Girl
Wells
Well
More quotes by Joan Rivers
old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
Joan Rivers
A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
Joan Rivers
My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
Joan Rivers
Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
