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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Piece
Took
Pieces
Body
Made
Chalk
Love
Outline
Outlines
Dating

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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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Better laid than never.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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