Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Whether
Comes
Twist
Play
Twists
Always
Third
Thirds
Tragedy
Comedy
Dies
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Joan Rivers
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Joan Rivers
Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
Joan Rivers
I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Joan Rivers
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
Joan Rivers
I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
Joan Rivers
Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
Joan Rivers
My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
Joan Rivers
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers