Quote

God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Tragedy
Comedy
Dies
Whether
Comes
Twist
Play
Twists
Always
Third
Thirds

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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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