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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Good
Everybody
Actual
Think
Maybe
Dying
Thinking
Looking
Cause
Like
Death
Easier
Reality
Loved
Littles
Comedy
Little
Stage
Quip
Right
Causes
Ideology
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers