Quote

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Also
Case
Bagger
Doe
Husband
Bunk
Love
Cases
Double
Head
Bags
Face
Falls
Faces
Puts
Making
Mines
Fall
Mine

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers