Quote

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Head
Bags
Face
Falls
Faces
Puts
Making
Mines
Fall
Mine
Also
Case
Bagger
Doe
Husband
Bunk
Love
Cases
Double

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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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I was my own buddy in camp.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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