Quote

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Doe
Husband
Bunk
Love
Cases
Double
Head
Bags
Face
Falls
Faces
Puts
Making
Mines
Fall
Mine
Also
Case
Bagger

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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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