Quote

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Making
Mines
Fall
Mine
Also
Case
Bagger
Doe
Husband
Bunk
Love
Cases
Double
Head
Bags
Face
Falls
Faces
Puts

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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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