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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Take
Wives
Lawyers
Lawyer
Lays
Wife
Law
Become
Women
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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I love the way my life has fallen into place.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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