Quote

A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
German
Humor
Sense
Oxymoron

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
Joan Rivers
Image
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
Image
I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
Joan Rivers
Image
I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
Image
All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
Joan Rivers
Image
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
Image
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Joan Rivers
Image
Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
Image
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
Image
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
Image
Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
Image
A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
Image
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
Image
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
Image
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers
Image
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers