Quote

A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Oxymoron
German
Humor
Sense

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
Image
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers
Image
I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
Joan Rivers
Image
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
Image
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
Joan Rivers
Image
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
Image
Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
Image
to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
Image
Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
Joan Rivers
Image
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
Image
The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
Joan Rivers
Image
Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
Image
Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
Image
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
Joan Rivers
Image
Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
Joan Rivers
Image
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
Joan Rivers
Image
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers
Image
That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers