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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Quickly
Kill
Time

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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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Never floss a stranger.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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