Quote

Self-pity shortens your life.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Shortens
Pity
Self
Life

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
Image
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
Image
Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers
Image
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
Image
There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
Joan Rivers
Image
Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
Joan Rivers
Image
You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
Joan Rivers
Image
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
Image
They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
Joan Rivers
Image
old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
Image
My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
Image
I love the way my life has fallen into place.
Joan Rivers
Image
What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
Image
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
Joan Rivers
Image
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers
Image
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers
Image
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
Image
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
Image
The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers